1hundredsixty8

It is upon us. The living dead, in contrast to their portrayal in cinema as mindless flesh-eaters moving in a slow, relentless shuffle to destroy civilization, have morphed into creatures that appear to be what most of us assume are white, upper-middle class Americans. This disguise enables them to live among us virtually undetected and conduct their dirty business as if it were the normal activity of society. However, they do have a significant tell, a dead give-away (pun intended) that allows them to be easily identified: Zombies masquerade as elected officials- members of Congress, state legislators, or executives of various federal, state and local governments. And true to Darwin’s Theory, these zombies have evolved, deftly adapting to modern technological society.

They are, of course, no less deadly than their primitive forebears. The zombie assault on our politics has so weakened the viability of the institutions serving as the glue binding society together that the very concept of governance seems a quaint and nostalgia relic- sort of like black-and-white television. They have engineered a plundering of our national wealth, forcing more of us towards poverty, and visiting a resigned hopelessness upon what was once a vibrant middle class. In true zombie fashion, the riches they extract from the rest of us fuel their perpetuation.

The true horror is that, having seized power, the zombies have made it illegal for the living to just shoot them.