1hundredsixty8

 With a tip of the hat to @BruceBartlett for facilitating the use of the term “wanker” to describe those fringe right-wingers who like to call themselves “conservatives”, I present The Conservative Self-Examination List to help my conservative friends resolve their uncertainty and determine once and for all whether they are truly a wanker.

1.   If you have no idea who Edmund Burke, William F. Buckley, Jr. or Robert Taft were, you just might be a wanker.

2.   If you believe that Phil Robertson of “Duck Dynasty” had his free speech rights impinged upon by A&E, you just might be a wanker.

3.  If you believe the number of criminal voter fraud cases in the country prove that such fraud is a wide-spread problem, you just might be a wanker.

4.   If you believe that the most pressing economic issue of our times is the Federal government’s spending (and the resulting deficits and growing national debt) and not  high unemployment (which increases spending on the social safety net at the same time income tax revenues decline), you just might be a wanker.

5.    If you hold to the libertarian concept that government should be small and unobtrusive but still think it’s fine for government to require women to undergo medical procedures such as transvaginal unltra-sound exams, you just might be a wanker.

6.   If you believe organizations such as Freedom Works, Tea Party Express and Americans for Prosperity* do not exist mainly to promote the self-serving agendas of the wealthy individuals who fund them, you just might be a wanker.

7.  If you have a propensity to use the term “the Founding Fathers” in a discussion, you just might be a wanker.

8.   If you equate personal religious beliefs with scientific theory, you just might be a wanker.

9.   If you believe that no great economic harm will occur if Congress fails to raise the debt ceiling and the United States defaults on previously-incurred debts,you just might be a wanker.

    If any of the above conditions apply to you, then you just might be a wanker.

*I recognize there are comparable organizations on the political left that promote the agendas of wealthy progressives, but this list is intended as an aid for conservatives.